Bloodbath at the House of D-E-A-T-H or Economic Rationalism

Pingo could not sleep; Mrs Nolan was snoring and dreaming of dill cucumbers floating in the ether. Mrs Nelson was making lip smacking noises and saying something like "yep yep yep, aah huh, yep yep yep aha hum huh..." Outside the street lights were still on and the noise of the early garbage collection truck rumbled down the alley. Pingo tossed the blankets aside and got up. He walked to the kitchen window, opened the blinds and peered to see the first rays of the new Tuesday morning light up the street. Although awake, Pingo was tired. Today was going to be a long one, and one that he was not particularly looking forward to. In the name of increased efficiency and effectiveness there would be an announcement at work of a cost in employee savings totalling around 3534.634661346 cat dinners, 23512.616 back scratchers and chin rubs and 23.9046146 gravelly tongue licks per post dinner “thank-you’s”. This was not including payouts in bad fish breath, scratched furniture and lost whisker redundancies. This bloody global sub-prime recession was giving Pingo the shits. He could no longer afford to sniff petrol and had to rely on adding star anise to Perkins paste to get his afternoon high. A lot of staff will be walking the plank in the name of the increased savings to the arts sector (or should that be renamed ‘arse” sector) and frankly, Pingo could not see the point. It was not light enough, but that was besides another point. In the distance he could hear the garbage men playing loud music and jabbering away at each other about an upcoming football game and how some-one was going to do a “Barry Hall” to a wanker at the pub who had been asking for it for weeks. That was what was going to happen today at work thought Pingo, the Executive Group are going to do a Barry Hall to the worker bees. There is going to be a blood bath of ochre water based paint on the hallways at the Arse House of Death. With that realization in mind, Pingo thought about what he was going to wear today, something that was stain resilient at the very least. A butcher’s apron could come in handy, along with a hibiscus behind the ear.